About
One difficult experience I have in my life is that I feel as though I don’t get enough love in my family or am trusted enough by my fellow theatre kids, although this may be just the way I feel and most of this may not even be true. Regarding the family issue, I’ve reached the conclusion that my older sister is the favorite child in the family. Seeing as to how my parents behave or interact when around my sister or my Grandmother, I think it’s quite clear that they get more love than I do. From being around theatre kids I know how’d they react to certain things or what their behavior is like, or just how they think in general, to some extent anyway. This possible lack of trust may be a result of losing my temper during the production of a show once, I yelled angrily while reading my lines to the director, because he wouldn’t let me change one word, since then, I always try to follow the script, and keep my cool during the rehearsals(however, I can get a bit emotional whenever I mess up). Other reasons why theatre kids may not trust me enough could be just personal dislike, ‘cause I’m not that social, or because they think I’m annoying. Normally, I don’t really bring up this issue to anyone, out of fear that they’ll use my issue to turn it around to their own favor. This has caused me to become less trusting of other people, not just my family or theatre kids, but even those who I consider friends. I know that it’s probably wrong for me to reach these assumptions, but unless they include me more, or prove that I can trust them, I’ll continue to feel this way. Despite these feelings, this is not enough to make me quit Drama, not just because I love the department, but also because I’ve made it this far and I can’t turn back now. Besides, even if they don't trust me that much, I've grown attached to them, and would hate to leave the department behind.
One opportunity which I have taken advantage of that can prepare me for college is ROP TV Film and Digital 1. Now, some of my many goals are to become a film director and actor, and while being in Drama for three years has helped me grow as an actor and given me some skills for directing, by taking film, I’m learning what it’s like to make movies and put them all together. Also, one of the projects in film involves audio replacement dialogue, where you provide the voices for the characters in your recorded footage, and where sound effects are provided, which helps with my goal of also becoming a voice actor. Film isn’t easy as it’s hard to both act and direct for some shots when you’re alone. Although there are a lot of movie ideas(hopefully ones that make it to theaters) that feature me as both the director and (one of) the lead characters, I think that I’d do better giving direction to the actors as well as writing the story and possibly the script(for the latter, I would need co-writers). Despite the classes that I take now, there is a hardship to achieving my goals. While you need 1-2 years of a fine arts or language to graduate(am I right?), the A-G requirements require 2 years of a foreign language. However, since my electives are drama and film, the former of which I’ve taken for 3 years(this one being my 3rd), that makes it impossible to meet those requirements. To overcome that, I plan to take community college for two years and learn a language before transferring to hopefully a film school or a college that could prepare me for film school(?) Either way, I don’t give up that easily on what my goal/goals in life is/are.
Of all my talents/skills, Drawing is (one of)the most meaningful/important to me. It started out as being a natural talent, but I feel as though it has grown over the years. What makes drawing so important to me is it allows me to use my brain, and by really creative. Originally, I just drew in pen and would rarely color things in, but in recent years, I’ve started out in pencil, then I trace over it in pen and start coloring in. Most of the time, I just color what I draw in, but recently I’ve been drawing shadows on some characters’ faces or other body parts(Arm, Leg, Chest, etc.), to make them look “better”, and a lot more detailed. Normally, when I draw something, I look at several pictures on the computer or other sources that I can find, then I use elements of them in my own artwork. Sometimes, I’ll trace over other drawings I’ve already done onto another paper(I’ve done that with Sauron and the Eye of Sauron from Lord of the Rings, Flash, Reverse-Flash, and Zoom from DC comics, etc.), but give the character(s) different facial details or colors from the original to tell them apart, or different backgrounds if I’m making another version of something(I made a poster for my One-Act The Joker: Political Consultant, a one-act that was political satire, and then made a non-political copy of the poster that just had Joker Stuff). Hopefully all of these improvements of my talents will help me fulfil one of my goals as a comic-book writer.
I express my creative side through many ways(drawing, singing, acting, but I do it) primarily through my ideas. While I am good at drawing, usually the things that I draw are objects, people, and fictional characters all of which already exist. I can rarely come up with a original character for something, but I’m great at coming with ideas for possible sequels, what-ifs, and crossovers(if the scenario could work), for some works of fiction that exist already. Other ideas that I’ve had, are theories about certain events in the past, how somethings happened and why, the identity of a mysterious character(until he/she is unmasked, that is), and many others. In addition, I also have ideas on how to solve certain problems, or about how to people can be better people, etc. However, I feel like all my ideas are usually shot down or abandoned by others because, so few of them have ever actually been carried out. According to someone(can’t remember if it was my Mother or someone else I know) my ideas aren’t that realistic. My former best friend, I feel as though didn’t(or doesn’t) respect them and purposely tries to shoot them down, thinking that anything he believes is the truth, even though he told me, “Just because you believe something, doesn’t make it true”, which is why I hate him so much. Overall, I think I’m a creative enough individual, I just wish someone would take my ideas into consideration and help me try to make it work, so long as they don’t steal my idea(s).
I would define myself as artistic, talented, creative, comedic, somewhat short-tempered, and as a person who doesn’t value themselves much(I value my talents, I don’t value myself as a person that much). I can also be really strong about what I believe. I never really do it in public places, but at home, sometimes in school, and in other scenarios, I usually express my opinion about what I believe, and when someone thinks something different, I get a little triggered. For example, When I feel one way about my faith, but someone tries to convince me otherwise, I feel as though it’s a sign they don’t respect what I believe, even if my later actions or words are (unintentionally) disrespectful of theirs. I try not to be a bigot, though in defending my beliefs, I think I might unintentionally be acting like one In addition, when I’m on social media and I see one of my friends post something that’s political, which happens to be the very thing I’m against, deep down I’m...bothered by it. Another thing that I would say is a big part of my identity, is that I don’t exactly trust people that much. Not saying I don’t trust anyone at all, what I mean is, due to my experiences of being bullied, having a falling out with someone I once thought was my best friend, and my loss of contact with others, I have great difficulty trusting people. I may not be the most sociable person, but by being around them, seeing how they respond to things, how they behave, how they are around others, I know to some extent how they think. My great perception has caused me to make lots of predictions that have eventually come true. Not just when the identity of a mysterious fictional character is finally revealed in a TV show, or what happens in the plot, but I usually am pretty good at figuring out who will win Drama’s “Gypsy Robe”, who gets what officer positions are given next year, what awards are given, etc. I guess you could say that makes me somewhat of a theorist. Either I am a master of deduction, I’m just using common sense, or both, I can’t tell.